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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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After that, I needed a break. So, I strolled down to the Yamato River. It’s so pretty there, especially in spring. Cherry blossoms everywhere! I sat on a bench, just breathing. But then, I saw this old man feeding the pigeons. And guess what? He slipped and fell! I was like, “Oh no!” But then he just laughed it off. I couldn’t help but giggle. Life’s weird, right?

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